I akke the effort for you

This entry is dedicated to Stella Young. Through her Tedx talk I found my way to writing this entry, which is something I’ve wanted to do but just couldn’t let go of that last bit of fear.  Thank you Stella. Rest Peacefully ♥

 ⊕⊗⊕

Why has “this” ↓ not been named yet?

You are losing an online argument and the person makes a spelling or grammar mistake. You grab at the chance to take a swipe at your opponents intellect by pointing the spelling mistake out and….

YOU MAKE AN ERROR AS WELL.

The percentage of this happening must be darn impressive!

I don’t play those games because I’d always lose and in observing these exchanges of communication I’ve become acutely aware of how mean people can be about spelling and grammar.

A few years ago I found a really great article that deals with literacy privilege.  Literacy privilege?  I know, right? That uncomfortable feeling though is what we need to push past to have a better understand of the life of others.  And when I did that I found all sorts of great information and learned more about accommodation and how to strike a balance between myself and others.

Here’s the link to that article.↓

⊕ Literacy Privilege: How I Learned to Check Mine Instead of Making Fun of People’s Grammar on the Internet

I woke up today and worried about the fact I hadn’t written anything here in a while. It’s a lot of work and I have been especially drained. Ever since the EEG at the end of March I have been having Simple Partial Seizures.  I didn’t understand what they were for a few weeks and then when I did I went to see my family Doctor and things went from there. I’ll write about that experience in a separate entry.  They are under control now though, I should mention. Just under 2 weeks seizure free but it was daily, so much better.

(edited to add: had more seizures after the publishing of this article. As of June 29th, 2015 I have just over 3 weeks in. Really hoping this is the start of another long run of seizure free living.)

I’ve really come to understand that I have no control over my creative muse. Today’s turnaround from “what could I wrote about” to here is quick even for me 😀

I did something today on facebook, spontaneously. (and not) Not because I’ve thought about doing this many times and spontaneously because, well, that one is self explanatory!

There are several comorbid (occurs together but can occur separately) conditions on the Autism Spectrum. Mine started to be picked up fairly early, considering where I live and the information available. Epilepsy developed later in life, though I am seeing where the signs and some symptoms have been there for years.  The 2 I am going to write about today are Dyslexia and Dyspraxia.

The comorbid conditions to the Spectrum are really what cause most of it not all of the problems we have. This is where the struggle lies. This is why more and more “voices” of older Autistic adults like myself in the community are asking people to move past awareness and onto acceptance. Please!

So today I opened facebook and started typing about this issue and part way through I realised something. I wanted to finally show you a part of me that I go to great lengths to accommodate others for. I started to wonder, what if I allowed myself to be accommodated? What if I didn’t correct the visual effects of Dyslexia and Dyspraxia for others all the time? Would I still be understood? Made fun of? Will it lighten my load just enough to make my life just much easier? Only one way to find out.

Please know that I do not expect or am asking that my particular set of learning disabilities or issues be the only ones to be accommodated or the standard for anyone else. Some people cannot read words written without some attempt at correction or without punctuation because their brain doesn’t allow without tremendous effort, if at all. I’m no more deserving of accommodation than they are. I’ve just lived in such shame for so long about this and I don’t think I or others like me should any more.

Here’s we go…

Ive thought about doijg this fora vwert long time. Eahc time I do, or start I get too scared. Each tme I show who I rruly am it hurts me more than it jhelps me in teh outside world, so I keep it to myself.

(I’ve paused, this makes me fel such shame and I’;m tire dof feleinghame)

There are sevral co=morbif conditions on the Autism specturm and I have my share,. But teh 2 I’m hightling here are duyslexiua and dyspraxia.

Yes, this is ehat it looks like beofr eI make it so YOU can undrtsand me. Not only do I struggle throuhg this, I then have to corrct it all and hope i find most of it. This is what teh words that make you laught and cry look like before you read them.

Soetimes I dont; even know what I was trying to say.

Sme days tis is much worse and some days beter. This is a medium day.

On hard days I get angry and cry. I eranse it all and you never knwo wat I wanted to say. O hard sdya not only do i have toruble trpying, I have troreubel verbally communicating too.

Communicatiin is many, many things. It’s not just vernbal, or written and those who only acept those as lefitmate foems of summunication are harmign those of us who nees to communicate in other ways as well.

I works hours, sometimes days at the written thigns I share. You can;t see the effort I kae to reach YOU – so today U am givign you asmall poeek into my pecturm world.

Ironivally, those of us who have the most diffuculty with the norms of socirty works the hardest to accomidate those who don’t really needs it.

I want thyat to change.

If you think less of me after this, it’s a meansure of who youare as a persion, not me.

I’m mot correcvitn this – you figire it out – you expericne a small, small part of what it is like to be me.

 I akke the effort for you – can or will you make it for me?

(Facebook says yes! The amazing respone is why I decided to bring it outside of that platform to this one.  Thank you for your kindness!)

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