exciting news for Echoes of Mermaids

So Echoes of Mermaids has some very exciting news!

Ever find yourself so overwhelmed by gratitude and the feeling of belonging that your entire body fills with goosebumps?

I never felt that till the word Autism came into my life as a reflection of myself. And it took many months for me to really peer at my reflection and see myself for the first time. But when I did? Better than waking up from a 3 day coma. Better than the first anything in my life.

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Do you see what I am reading in the picture?

I can’t even believe it myself. For so many reasons. It’s not even out yet! I have an advanced uncorrected proof. Someone pinch me!

Somehow I’m going to attempt to tell you all though because I’m getting to review Steve Silberman‘s much anticipated book, “NeuroTribes” for The Thinking Persons Guide to Autism, and I can’t even type that without full body chills and my eyes filling with tears.

Need to wipe them away! Can’t finish reading it this way! 😀

Wow, right? The forward is by Oliver Sacks. Another teary eyed moment. Realising I get to share a space with him on Steve’s journey? Just amazing.

I’ve had to fight a huge battle with feeling worthy to do this. I’m not totally there, but I can’t let this opportunity go by. So forward I go. I’ve gotten the introduction written and pages of notes!

If you are Autistic, love someone who is, are a teacher or support worker and especially those who don’t fit into any of these categories – then you’ll want to order a copy of this book. Just click the picture below and you can see the options on Amazon.

Okay, back to it! Let me know what you think or if you are going to read it. Would love to hear your thoughts.

[ UPDATE ] – Review done —> “How We Autistics Got to Here: Reviewing Steve Silberman’s NeuroTribes

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I akke the effort for you

This entry is dedicated to Stella Young. Through her Tedx talk I found my way to writing this entry, which is something I’ve wanted to do but just couldn’t let go of that last bit of fear.  Thank you Stella. Rest Peacefully ♥

 ⊕⊗⊕

Why has “this” ↓ not been named yet?

You are losing an online argument and the person makes a spelling or grammar mistake. You grab at the chance to take a swipe at your opponents intellect by pointing the spelling mistake out and….

YOU MAKE AN ERROR AS WELL.

The percentage of this happening must be darn impressive!

I don’t play those games because I’d always lose and in observing these exchanges of communication I’ve become acutely aware of how mean people can be about spelling and grammar.

A few years ago I found a really great article that deals with literacy privilege.  Literacy privilege?  I know, right? That uncomfortable feeling though is what we need to push past to have a better understand of the life of others.  And when I did that I found all sorts of great information and learned more about accommodation and how to strike a balance between myself and others.

Here’s the link to that article.↓

⊕ Literacy Privilege: How I Learned to Check Mine Instead of Making Fun of People’s Grammar on the Internet

I woke up today and worried about the fact I hadn’t written anything here in a while. It’s a lot of work and I have been especially drained. Ever since the EEG at the end of March I have been having Simple Partial Seizures.  I didn’t understand what they were for a few weeks and then when I did I went to see my family Doctor and things went from there. I’ll write about that experience in a separate entry.  They are under control now though, I should mention. Just under 2 weeks seizure free but it was daily, so much better.

(edited to add: had more seizures after the publishing of this article. As of June 29th, 2015 I have just over 3 weeks in. Really hoping this is the start of another long run of seizure free living.)

I’ve really come to understand that I have no control over my creative muse. Today’s turnaround from “what could I wrote about” to here is quick even for me 😀

I did something today on facebook, spontaneously. (and not) Not because I’ve thought about doing this many times and spontaneously because, well, that one is self explanatory!

There are several comorbid (occurs together but can occur separately) conditions on the Autism Spectrum. Mine started to be picked up fairly early, considering where I live and the information available. Epilepsy developed later in life, though I am seeing where the signs and some symptoms have been there for years.  The 2 I am going to write about today are Dyslexia and Dyspraxia.

The comorbid conditions to the Spectrum are really what cause most of it not all of the problems we have. This is where the struggle lies. This is why more and more “voices” of older Autistic adults like myself in the community are asking people to move past awareness and onto acceptance. Please!

So today I opened facebook and started typing about this issue and part way through I realised something. I wanted to finally show you a part of me that I go to great lengths to accommodate others for. I started to wonder, what if I allowed myself to be accommodated? What if I didn’t correct the visual effects of Dyslexia and Dyspraxia for others all the time? Would I still be understood? Made fun of? Will it lighten my load just enough to make my life just much easier? Only one way to find out.

Please know that I do not expect or am asking that my particular set of learning disabilities or issues be the only ones to be accommodated or the standard for anyone else. Some people cannot read words written without some attempt at correction or without punctuation because their brain doesn’t allow without tremendous effort, if at all. I’m no more deserving of accommodation than they are. I’ve just lived in such shame for so long about this and I don’t think I or others like me should any more.

Here’s we go…

Ive thought about doijg this fora vwert long time. Eahc time I do, or start I get too scared. Each tme I show who I rruly am it hurts me more than it jhelps me in teh outside world, so I keep it to myself.

(I’ve paused, this makes me fel such shame and I’;m tire dof feleinghame)

There are sevral co=morbif conditions on the Autism specturm and I have my share,. But teh 2 I’m hightling here are duyslexiua and dyspraxia.

Yes, this is ehat it looks like beofr eI make it so YOU can undrtsand me. Not only do I struggle throuhg this, I then have to corrct it all and hope i find most of it. This is what teh words that make you laught and cry look like before you read them.

Soetimes I dont; even know what I was trying to say.

Sme days tis is much worse and some days beter. This is a medium day.

On hard days I get angry and cry. I eranse it all and you never knwo wat I wanted to say. O hard sdya not only do i have toruble trpying, I have troreubel verbally communicating too.

Communicatiin is many, many things. It’s not just vernbal, or written and those who only acept those as lefitmate foems of summunication are harmign those of us who nees to communicate in other ways as well.

I works hours, sometimes days at the written thigns I share. You can;t see the effort I kae to reach YOU – so today U am givign you asmall poeek into my pecturm world.

Ironivally, those of us who have the most diffuculty with the norms of socirty works the hardest to accomidate those who don’t really needs it.

I want thyat to change.

If you think less of me after this, it’s a meansure of who youare as a persion, not me.

I’m mot correcvitn this – you figire it out – you expericne a small, small part of what it is like to be me.

 I akke the effort for you – can or will you make it for me?

(Facebook says yes! The amazing respone is why I decided to bring it outside of that platform to this one.  Thank you for your kindness!)

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Unencumbered Forgiveness

I’ve not gotten to walk unencumbered on bare ground for over 2 months now and neither have my dogs. That’s 2 months of not being able to physically “ground” myself. I was long past due.

So, I thought, what can I do about this?

And then it hit me, silly Pisces girl – go to the sea dear one, go to the sea.

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So Alice, Chloe and I did just that.

But before we got there I needed to make a stop – I needed a memory card for my beloved Pentax. I bought the wrong kind before, but that turned out to be the Universe guiding me, I just hadn’t see it yet.

Oh yes, those full circle moments I love so much, even when they hurt.

I was headed to Walmart — pocketbook, distance and time dictated it but my heart was screaming – “go to the Superstore” and so that’s where the car pulled into. I bought a card, far more expensive then I needed to spend. I walked to the car and my head should have been on the task at hand but I wondered, “why did I come here?

Charlie – that’s why.

Got your crew with you too” said a totally unassuming 65+ year old bearded man, and he gestured to the back of his car and then to mine.

Dogs – the beginning of many a conversation in my life.

We talked for over a half hour. That’s how it works with me. Hundreds pass by unnoticed till I find the people I need to and they find me too – it’s one of the best things about being Autistic and having the mind I do. I live in a very special world that exists within yours and you can’t see – but I can.

We spoke of many things as like minded spirits do. Good things, like dogs and farming and simpler lives and bad things. He told me he is dying of cancer, and I could see it even before he told me. I could hear it, smell it, taste it. He eyes filled with tears as he said the words. I turned to get my camera bag, taking the distraction as a way to make sure I got this right.

there’s nothing can be done to fight it” he said

but you’ve not given up” I stated,

no

I pointed up the hill to the Hospital I was in 3 years ago, told him what I fought back from. 50% chance of waking up and a 25% chance of being able to live any sort of productive life.

Believe” I told him. ( Be Live )

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Just before we parted ways I told him something very personal about my self and the situation I am in and he said,

You cannot give forgiveness, without accepting it first

And that’sexactly why I pulled into the parking lot, that’s it exactly – to hear that.

I put my hand on his shoulder before I left, not something I would normally do. I don’t touch people because I don’t like being touched. But I needed my energy to touch his in this way, for him to know just how much this encounter meant. That I heard him.

He was so warm to the touch – the deepest blue I ever seen.

Then my pups and I headed to the beach.

We walked unencumbered on sand as solid as ground. We let the salt air smudge away the winter. We breathed it in until we felt okay again. I let that ↓ idea roll around and around in my head and heart.

You cannot give forgiveness, without accepting it first

These full circle moments are breathtaking. I feel truly sorry for those who can’t see them or experience them – life is so much more than you are seeing in front of you – you have no idea.

But I can help with that through my words and experiences and sharing them in various ways.  Don’t be afraid of the words I use to describe and decipher myself. Let me truly embrace them because when I do I can share in ways like I am now and you get to see places you might never see, like in my pictures (4) below ↓ from the first Spring Beach walk of many for 2015!

If you click on each picture it open in a new tab and I think you can even comment on them?!

Blessed Be!

All Rights Reserved

 

Alice March 25th 2015

My Alice by her beloved Ocean a deep love we share

My Chloe  The woods are more her style but she's happy to run free!

My Chloe
The woods are more her style but she’s happy to run free!

Water meets sand and creates music for those listening

Water meets sand and creates music for those listening