The Ocean – About Me

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* Cast Your Net *

Pick your favourite animal,” said the photographer, “hold it and stand there.

Grade Primary - 1974

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I’m not looking at the camera, I’m looking through it. Instead, I’m at that farm that’s taking up several tables at my one room School House. I’m playing with my favourite animal which was an easy choice for a girl that always agonized over choices – a dog. But before I could figure out where the cow barn was I was told to leave the dog and step aside.

1974 and I was in Grade Primary in the aforementioned once room schoolhouse. I’m sure that’s partly where my lifelong fascination with “Little House on the Prairie” comes from.

I’m a country mouse!” I proclaimed after reading “The Town Mouse and the Country Mouse” in a book of Aesop’s Fables in Grade 3. I read my first novel somewhere between Grade 1 and 2 by myself. I still have the book here, from the same one room school-house.

[ Gobbolino The Witch’s Cat ]
it’s a tale of a kitten who was born a witch’s cat, destined for a life of magick with his pure black twin sister, Sootica. But with one white paw and blue eyes he longed to be a kitchen cat and was cast aside by his Witch mistress and others who couldn’t accept his need to be himself and his differences. His journey begins and ends at a river as he has many adventures but each one just pushes him closer to who he needs to really be because he is miserable faking it.

I read A LOT of books, A shocking amount until my late teens and even then as the storms in my life got bigger, reading never left me. Books are my friends.

And if I wasn’t reading books?

I was on a certain rock in the woods behind my Grandparents house. I was trying to fit myself into the opening under it and find the ( rabbit hole.)

What are you going to do with your life, Patricia?” My mother would ask.

Sit on a rock in the woods and paint Mom” I’d say.

At first she laughed, but then it was clear that is just what I meant. I never really wanted to be part of the busy people world. Noisy, smelly, confusing, and no one seemed to speak my language. But in the woods? Yes. I was fine there with the fae folk.

Born on March 11th, 1969 and now sharing a birthday with my Uncle I always knew I was different. For a long time I attributed that to my sun sign – Pisces. I was made aware of that fact from the time I was born, I think. My Uncles Pisces coffee mug was a thing of wonderment for me. I studied the facts and pictures on it. Surely this is why I feel like I’m always ready to burst out of my skin!!

I’m a Pisces, that makes me special right Nanny?

Right

Astrology for a time became a special interest. I was pretty well reading anyone’s charts in the 1990’s who would give me their date/time of birth.

Special Interests. You’d not peg that for a “symptom” of anything. But it is.

An about me could be a list of my various special interests. When you are Autistic and communication is at the very least, awkward, when you find something you understand you pretty well educate anyone who will listen. And many who don’t want to 😉

My aren’t you the encyclopaedia?!

I still hear things like that as I tell the cashier all about Corneal Mass Ejections all because she said the debit machines were acting up. Over the years I’ve used that as a cue to stop talking since I can’t read sarcasm very well.

My longest special interest however and what is something you’ll quickly come to know about me is I use photography as a form of communication. It started when I was the same age as in that picture up there. A trip to a wild life park which was scary (bus, unknown circumstances, very close proximity to the other children in a situation that I had no practice with) but with the camera in my hand, it was made so much easier for me. And I was going to be near a lot of different animals, so camera in hand away I went. I still have those pictures. 40 years later and because of my photographic memory, I can “see” the one picture especially very clearly without having to go anywhere near it.

My Pentax K20D and Me!  On year 8 together!

My Pentax K20D and Me! On year 8 together!
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That’s something else you should know about me, if I can’t turn it into a picture in my mind I’m not going to understand it.

My maternal Grandparents were, and continue to be the biggest positive motivating force in my life despite my Grandmother having passed over 20 years ago and my Grandfather is heading to year 13. Some days it may as well be day 1 without them. I’ll never again, I believe, know the safety and comfort and care I knew in their presence. Thank goodness my Mother had me a bit younger (19) because it meant I had more time with them. I could write a book alone about my Grandfather. What special people.

Granddad and Nanny

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So, let’s lay down some labels so you get a better picture of me. That’s all I use them for. Ways to reflect back to me so I can see myself in others. Ways to know how to better navigate my time here.

I’m Autistic.

That did not come to be known till 2012. You can read more about that [ here ]

It comes with many co-morbid conditions and I’ve got a few.

I have Dyslexia and Dyspraxia. I was diagnosed with severe sensory processing issues as a pre-teen, it’s better understood now as Sensory Processing Disorder.  Add this all up I’m so clumsy that it is comical sometimes. It also presents with many challenges in day-to-day living.

Synaesthesia  – though there are several types and I don’t experience them all. In fact, because it manifests itself in many forms it is something that a great deal of the population experiences in one form or another. I think it needs to be studied a lot more. With such an overlap it is a bridge between Autistic and Neurotypical Brains.

I also have Epilepsy, specifically Status Epileptics.

Migraines. (started as a child, do not ignore headaches in children please)

PTSD / Depression

Scoliosis, quite severe. I live with chronic pain. I was under Doctors care since childhood, trying to avoid surgery. I did, but my spine is crumbling from the neck down.

Hidradenitis Suppurativa

Raynaud’s Disease 

So yeah, it’s a lot and it’s not a lot all at the same time. That top one, Autism, knowing and honouring that makes the rest deal-able. But only when I honour it, well, me.

I’m an artist. I draw, I paint and I adore pastels more than is right. I wrote poetry, I write! I’m a photographer and I am also one heck of a good photo editor. I dabble in videography too.

I’m currently sharing my space with 6 wonderful sentient animal beings.

Alice and Chloe are my dogs – Labrador/ Border Collie Mix. Chilly, Zuma and Zayle are my Chinchillas. I can talk for a week about them and then another week about how to care for them! And King George – a long haired Syrian Hamster. He's really neat. I think no matter what I always want to have at least a Hamster.

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Alice and Chloe are my dogs – Labrador/ Border Collie Mix.

Chilly, Zuma and Zayle are my Chinchillas. I can talk for a week about them and then another week about how to care for them!

And King George – a long-haired Syrian Hamster. He’s really neat. I think no matter what I always want to have at least a Hamster.

Animals I get, people, not so much 😉 That is evidenced by the fact that it’s nothing to have Dragonflies land on me, or to hold my hand out and have a Chickadee land on it.  I have a special bond with hummingbirds as well. Oh, and Seahorses *sigh* I adore them. My social life consists of animal stories.

I like to go on long hikes in sometimes impossible places. I like to spend as much time as I can with my feet either on/in the dirt or in the water. NO socks please.!!! And if not in the water, by it.

I’m on a journey. I am a seeker. I am an outlier. I am the personification of what I found buried under some leaves and dirt in the woods one day. The sun reflecting off just enough to catch my keen eye. I reached down, I was only about 8 or 9 and found a message I knew must have been put there by the Universe just for me. A laminated bookmark. I had to wipe the dirt away to read the words. What I could not find in normal places I’ve always had to, but also wanted to, dig deeper and seek harder along the way to finding out about me. The depth down does show us the height up.

What did the bookmark say?

“A Pisces is a dreamer of dreams,

a teller of tales,

whose mystic sight

knows that truth prevails.”

Homecomming

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For more of my story click [ HERE ] for my first entry, Three.  Namaste. ξ


* Cast Your Net *

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  1. Pingback: The Importance of Autistic People Seeing Reflections of Ourselves in Media – Sesame Street, Julia and Me | Echoes of Mermaids

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